200526

Joke of the Day

"Roses are red violets are blue Roses are red and Violets are blue Sugar is sweet and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead The sugar bowls empty and so is your head"

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"If you finger a bum... you're a hobosexual"
"[girl's night out] WIFE: I'm off then ME: Okay WIFE: Don't do anything obtuse ME: Pfft - give me a break! {5 min later} ME *googling obtuse*"
"I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice"
"How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground? The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)"
"[PUN]I think I saw a beautiful juniper. Maybe it's fir... or maybe it's maple-ine."
"What's a pig's favourite casino game? Porker."
"What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line."
"Did you hear about that psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? They're a small medium at large"
"""The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in."" ~my mother after a few drinks"
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