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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line."

"Did you hear about the locomotive that always did what it was told? It was really well trained."

"What kind of yogurt does a skeleton eat? Actibia."

"If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon."

"Just been reading Delia Smith's recipe for scrambled eggs... Apparently ""they should be soft and fluffy."" No you daft bitch that means they've hatched."

"How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician? Cold and calculating."

"Today, I'm going to give it my some."

"[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: Didn't you do any financial planning? ME: *lips pressed on mic* Yes, your Honor, I was planning on having finances"

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 13 years!"

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy! Now I have to sit down when I pee."