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Joke of the Day

"How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground? The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)"

"I'm starting a support group for people who think they are mortgages. The most important thing is for them to realize that they are not a loan."

"Schrodinger's Pussy... There may or may not be a dick in the box."

"My wife says it's time I stop pretending to be The Karate Kid. I had to put my foot down."

"What do you call a fat psychic? a four chin teller."

"Where do stoners keep their money? In a joint account"

"Me: come here often? Her: THIS IS MY BEDROOM IM CALLING THE COPS"

"You've cat to be kitten me right meow."

"A kid and his dad are playing cards... The kids tells his father ""Dad, I'm bored"" The father then pulls out a box and says ""are you sure you're not card board?"""

"What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine? They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen."