200519

Joke of the Day

"> Unsubscribe from LinkedIn > Delete email account > Sell house, live in woods > Find bottle in river > Has note inside > It's from LinkedIn"

"How do cops get rid of flies? They call in a S.W.A.T. team"

"Do not squander your short time on earth acquiring worldly possessions. Instead, try to get laid a lot."

"A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies."

"Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! The only down side is we still have to pay his tuition."

"They just arrested my favorite shoe salesman thinking he was a drug lord. They said all the shoes were laced and everyone was trippin."

"all this spending on black friday... better pay your electricity bill first or next friday will be black friday too"

"Just discovered that I'm willing to drive 35mph over the speed limit to prevent a PT Cruiser from passing me."

"What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you."