200506

Joke of the Day

"Job Interview I was at a job interview and the interviewer asks ""where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" I reply ""sorry, I don't have 2020 vision."""

"Sorry but if these walls could talk I'm pretty sure they'd talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you're blowing out of proportion."

"did your friends rob that bank? ""I'll never talk"" I forgot that you're prejudice against robbers ""what?!? some of my best friends rob banks"""

"I just had my tubes tied, and now I'm........inconceivable."

"How do you become a kleptomaniac? You pick it up from other people"

"Once you throw a paper airplane it's no longer..... Stationary. Credit: u/Breeze_In_ The _ Trees"

"A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth The result was soup rising"

"Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

"Why is Divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it."

"I failed my biology exam yesterday The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer."