200480

Joke of the Day

"Customer: Why did you take off so much hair? Barber: I didn't nature beat me to it."

"Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning"

"Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one!"

"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"

"you never gotta worry about me cheating on you... i might eat something that was yours but thats about it"

"Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"

"""This looks like an open and shut case!"" a police detective buying luggage."

"""I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth! Never to be said to an evil genius... ever."

"Never try to annoy someone with bird puns Because toucan play at that game."

"*DJ scratches a sick mix* [crowd goes wild] *DJ scratches a puppy's ear* [crowd ""awws""] *DJ scratches Lotto ticket* [crowd ""oohs""] *wins $1*"