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Joke of the Day

"Somebody left a baby at my front door today, and I have no idea what to do with it. I just hope it's gone by tomorrow."

"advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being ""better than sex"" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them"

"Margaret Thatcher has only been in hell for half a day... ...but she's already sorted out Satan's budget deficit, busted up the demons' union and made Hitler cry during a debate."

"Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers fight for nicest person ever. Who wins? They both share the trophy"

"What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam!"

"Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost"

"When is carotene going to get out of beta mode?"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba dum tiss"

"""weed is a gateway drug"" ""to what? the fridge? Hahaha"" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*"

"Sports fad invented by pigs: Mud wrestling."