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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite drink? The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)"

"What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? I just passed your friend in the woods."

"I like telling car salesmen ""Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car"" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do"

"What did the vampire say to the teacher? See you next period!"

"What's the hardest thing about nailing a baby to a tree? My Penis."

"Anyone know how long you can keep a chicken in the freezer? Because I put one in last night and it was dead this morning."

"Did you hear about that kid that had sex with his teacher? Yeah, he recently died from hi-fiving."

"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"

"Intellectual Joke Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says ""We don't serve noble gases in here."" Helium doesn't react."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"