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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite drink? The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)"

"Sorry I put a Gryffindor scarf on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and called him Hermione Manger."

"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""

"Q: How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered."

"In our fridge there is condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla and eggs. So I put a sticker on it saying, ""Warning: Highly Flannable."""

"""Haha, you thought I was a quarter."" -nickels"

"What did the x-axis say to the y-axis? This is my domain"

"The story of a heroic husband .... Wife to her husband - How do I look? I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed?"

"I had a soap addiction. Its okay though I'm clean now."

"What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously? Silly-con!"