56116

Joke of the Day

"What did the vampire say to the teacher? See you next period!"

"I made this. When you think about it, it is kind of silly that honey contains B vitamins."

"It's crazy to see how much worse celebrities looked ""before they were famous"" and then realize that's how you look."

"What's the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising my goats."

"How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any kids? Because everytime his wife gets hot ,he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. :-P"

"Silver and lead are sitting at a bar and gold walks in. Silver yells "" au, get outta here! """

"Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time."

"What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was? George Lucas."

"How many of you have awakened with your spouse holding your hand only to find they are putting your thumb on your iPhone trying to break in?"

"I couldn't figure out how to use a seatbelt But then it clicked."