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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"

"What do you call a group of dogs? a PAW-se"

"The nicotine patch is great. I get my addiction out of the hands of the evil tobacco industry and into the loving arms of big pharma."

"[airport security] *Beep* ""step through again, but don't say Beep."" *Alarm* ""Once more sir, but if u speak, I'll shoot u."" {thinks} *bzzt*"

"I knew my daughter would be a slut when this bitch was 3 months old Instead of drinking the milk out of the bottle, she takes the bottle out her mouth and shakes it all over her face"

"Did you hear about the Aggie that moved to Oklahoma? Raised the I.Q. of both states."

"TIFU Your girl was on my lap"

"Have you ever tried North Korean food? [Neither have they](#s)"

"What did the druggie scientist say when he got high on Helium? He He"

"Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she's probably thick and tired of it!"