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Joke of the Day

"What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed? Me neither. Help."

"Why did the blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means stop ;D"

"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please fasten your seatbelts i wanna try something"

"What does a woman say after three consecutive orgasms? You mean you don't know?"

"My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis... ...and asked what I was doing. Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the correct answer."

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ? Snakes and Larders !sna"

"I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo. Judo know if I got a knife... Judo know if I got a gun..."

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"You're in your 20's... you don't have ""haters""... you have ""adults"" that think you are ""annoying"""