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Joke of the Day

"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?"

"The Last Contango in Paris Commodities Exchange."

"When I first saw you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you."

"If you don't believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?"

"Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked."

"what do you get when you put a roofie in lemonade? Lemonlaid."

"Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!"

"My ex-girlfriend often told me to stop being so competitive. Like I was ever going to let her come first."

"A kiss makes my whole day, but anal...(NSFW) ..makes my hole weak."

"Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps? Black people can't swim."