200364

Joke of the Day

"Why did the man vomit after eating Middle Eastern food? It made his stomach falafel."

"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""

"TIL that during WWII 3 U.S. submarines sank due to friendly fire. Whoops, wrong sub."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"3-year-old: Where do people go when they die? Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not? 3: It's full of dead people."

"Trump is such a good businessman that he literally wrote the book on business! Everyone should read it! Its too bad that it only goes up to chapter 11 though..."

"I'd let you be the reason my cheeks blush.. All four of them"

"My colleague can no longer attend next week's seminar on innuendo... Now I have to fill her slot..."

"Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?"

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you wagging its tail, you're in love with a dog & it probably just had to shit."