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Joke of the Day

"TIL that during WWII 3 U.S. submarines sank due to friendly fire. Whoops, wrong sub."

"[leaving a birthday party with my pinata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that ""Just take me home"""

"Superman can save the world but Clark Kent"

"The date was going great until she spooked me and then I squirted her with ink and quickly swam away"

"*Throws up some gang signs* *stabs self in eye with salad fork* Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down."

"How do you kill a fox? You cut off its leg and make it run across canada"

"Oh white people, is there anything you won't try to fix with a 5K run/walk?"

"You can't spell Meek Mill.. ..without two consecutive L's."

"The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake."

"A condom doesn't guarantee safe sex. My friend was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."