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Joke of the Day

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you wagging its tail, you're in love with a dog & it probably just had to shit."

"I like my women like I like my Coffee.... Ground up and in the freezer"

"Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don't like on"

"A third grader opens the door and yells to his mom. ""Mom! Today I found out I have a bigger penis than all the other kids!"" ""That's because you're 23, Tyrone."""

"Dude got his foot cut off, poor guy had to give up drinking milk. He lacked toes."

"Just got my grades back for my computer science class. Apparently, I got a C++ on my final."

":S :C :H :O :O :L - You can't find happy faces."

"I'm finishing off this bottle of wine because you never know when an asteroid is gonna hit and I'd hate to waste the $6.49 I spent on it."

"Me: Wake up son! Son: Just 30 more minutes please Me: I'm borrowing your phone Son jumps of the bed: I'm awake!"

"So when people say they religiously do something. Does that mean they do it really hypocritically and fairy tale like?"