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Joke of the Day

"If you are not so happy with life, Come join us on Facebook. We'll make you forget you ever had one."

"Why are schools red? You would be too if you had 7 periods a day."

"You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed."

"I had an idea for a suit made entirely of banana skins... but no one seemed to find it very appealing."

"*runs in out of breath* Friend: what's going on? Me: [heavy breathing] bear with me Friend: Ok *waits* *bear runs in, also out of breath*"

"Look at each failure as a deposit made into the account that will help you write the check for your next significant success."

"I asked my lawyer cousin, an orthodox Jewish man, his opinion on gay marriage He said ""that would be GREAT for business"""

"Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can't beat a blowjob."

"Whenever I put on my Ocean Pacific (op) pants I feel I must say something meaningful."

"Good job I am very surprised that no one has made a 9/11 joke. I would of thought that 9 times out of 11 that I would see one."