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Joke of the Day

"Why are schools red? You would be too if you had 7 periods a day."

"Doctor then says to Pagliacci... ""New treatment. Get on stage and forget vagueness and uncertainty, or else the twelve guys I've already sent to go see you are going to fucking kill themselves."""

"I hate thinking of new passwords. Last time I did I chose ""Penis."" But got the error: Your password is too short. I tried BBCPenis, that was too many characters. Guess that ones too long."

"I am Looking a Bank I am Looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me. Give me a Loan, and then Leave me Alone...."

"What's an educated hole in the wall? A wisecrack."

"My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats. I guess I should really get off Tumblr"

"If every day is a gift, I'd have to say today was a Fruitcake from Last Year Day. Recycled, disappointing and held together by booze."

"Where did the Gingerbread man lose his leg? He lost it back in the 'Nom War"

"Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*"

"I hate being bi-polar It's awesome"