200317

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Orangutan, a tortoise and a hamster in cars? Top Gear, ^^or ^whatever ^^their ^^new ^^amazon ^^car ^^show ^^will ^^be ^^called."

"A student asks another student, ""How many zeroes does your salary have?"" He responds ""One"" ""In which currency?"" ""Any :("""

"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."

"I wasn't going to buy Thrift Shop on iTunes... But it was .99 cents!"

"Did you hear that protons have mass? Na"

"15 just texted me that she was on her period and needed a chocolate bar. How absorbent could a chocolate bar even be?!"

"What's the difference between a Genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush."

"Sideburns of Reddit, I mustache you a question Not really. I just came here to... *bust your chops.* \*snickers maniacally\*"

"Initially I thought I would rather catch herpes than feelings. But then I realized herpes are forever."

"What is the worst part of eating vegetables? The wheelchairs."