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Joke of the Day

"I wasn't going to buy Thrift Shop on iTunes... But it was .99 cents!"

"""There are nine holes on a chair. A man sat and farted. Which hole did the fart go through?"" The asshole."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choir boy."

"What do you call a person who steals and is then praised by his/her friends? A Redditor."

"""Who's got two thumbs and finds this joke funny?"" ""Not this guy!"" -Thumb amputee victim"

"[NSFW] Why don't pedophiles ever win races? They're always coming in a little behind."

"I'm gonna open a business to wax chests with no pain at all. ...But can I really pull it off?"

"Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use by date? It was mayhem."

"What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker? Hop in."

"Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks... ...because the other is a buoy ant"