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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Syrian school and a terrorist camp? I don't know, I'm just flying the drone"

"Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon."

"This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered. I looked down at my crotch and she said, ""The other side."""

"Recently, my self driving car has been malfunctioning. It's driving me crazy"

"Wanna see an asshole wrapped in plastic? Yeah? Ok, let me see your driver's license. (My buddy's grandpa told me this back in high school the first time I met him.)"

"Sam: Welcome to Multiple Personality Club. Sam: No one else is here. Sam: You're here. Sam: I'M YOU, STUPID! Sam: OK EVERYONE CALM DOWN!"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill a Latvian? None."

"What does a goose do What can a goose do, that a duck can't, and that your lawyer should ? Stick his bill up his ass."

"I like asking girls if I can buy them a drink and when they say yes I yell ""YOU DON'T KNOW MY FINANCIAL SITUATION"" and run away."

"What did the oyster say when the monster broke into his home? Shucks"