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Joke of the Day

"Wanna see an asshole wrapped in plastic? Yeah? Ok, let me see your driver's license. (My buddy's grandpa told me this back in high school the first time I met him.)"

"*gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car"

"A UNIX Salesperson A unix salesperson named Lenore Loved her job, but loved the beach more. She devised such a way to combine work and play: She sells C-shells by the seashore"

"I would tell you about my penis... But its a long story"

"I don't understand why French is considered the language of love... Have you heard Latin? It's so obviously **roman**tic."

"If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them, then a little past them and avoid them altogether it's probably not worth it."

"I slapped Kim Kardashian's ass once I don't like his music."

"Why was the broom late? Because it over swept! (Source: Thomas and Friends - Edward the hero)"

"Q: What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action? A: An inj-oink-tion."

"How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was."