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Joke of the Day

"This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered. I looked down at my crotch and she said, ""The other side."""

"Macklemore was pretty far ahead of me in terms of self-awareness. When I was in the third grade I literally thought I might be a thundercat."

"Why was the snow yellow? Elsa let it go."

"If you work for Samsung.. does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?"

"Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son? She named him Oedipus."

"What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night? reddit"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter he's not coming anyways."

"What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't here a vitamin."

"1. Go to seminary. 2. Get degree. 3. ??? 4. Prophet."

"""I OBJECT!"" the defendant screams in court. The judge gives her a very emotional hug and says, ""No...you human."""