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Joke of the Day
"Do you know beer makes you smart? It made Bud wiser."
Next Joke
"How to be a grown up at work? Always smile and replace ""fuck you"" with ""OK great"""
"*Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*"
"What do you call someone who just occasionally dabbles in a bit of Islamic fundamentalism? A Wahhobbyist."
"What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission? An ill-eagle"
"How do murderers turn off the lights? Killowatt"
"What's the technical term for a female to male sex change? A strapadictome"
"[zoo] ME: Haha...this one's face! WIFE: Tha- M [bangs on glass] W: Stop it M [pulls funny face] W [elbows me aside] So sorry, 2 tickets pls"
"What did the cliff say to the landslide? Chalk to you later."
"New Stephen King book! I hear that Stephen King is writing a new book dealing with the horrors of cat ownership. It's called Pffffffffft!"