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Joke of the Day

"What did the cliff say to the landslide? Chalk to you later."

"Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with illegal immigrants crossing their southern border... I guess they became Americans after all."

"Gloria Gaynor's ghost I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified."

"Pinocchio in love So Pinocchio says to his father: 'Dad I'm in love!', his dad replies 'That's great, now you want me to carve you some penis?' 'No, better drill me a hole at the back' @_@"

"What do walruses and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"Fidel Castro just passed away... ...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him."

"I remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket He said ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Sex is like math Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply!"

"The premise of Batman is that, deep down, all billionaires just want to be first-year patrol cops"

"I told a man I was voting third party He said, ""That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"" ""Simple,"" I replied, ""I'd pick the bullet."""