200190

Joke of the Day

"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat"

"""Rain, rain, go away, come to a poor African nation watered only by tears."" Bono's nursery rhymes are the worst."

"I've upped my game so now instead of buying women at the bar drinks I buy them a pony"

"No pants were worn during the making of this tweet."

"I thought it was called a Fist Bump Why not call it a Finger Bang?"

"What is it called when a criminal gets excited? A Con-Yay!"

"They say that you are safer in a bigger group Unless you're with 6 million...and everyone is jewish"

"[after putting a fake mustache on an elephant] FRIEND: You seen my elephant? ME: no FRIEND: [eyeing elephant] Maybe this fine gentleman has"

"Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do."