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Joke of the Day

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"I like my women like I like my fields..... fertile and full of my seed"

"A beer matt walks into a bar.. Drinks are on me!"

"What do you say to a grammar nazi who just got their left side cut off? Their, they're, there. You'll be all right."

"What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger? They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 11 seconds."

"When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage."

"don't smoke pots because they are made of clay and can burn your tongue"

"Are you an old person? Because I would love to give you a stroke!"

"She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this ""we"" shit? I'm having plenty."