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Joke of the Day

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"Ever find a mirror that makes you look really good and you're like oh OK this is where I live now I live in this airport restroom now"

"Wolverine: You know what I can't heal? Jean: What Logan? Wolverine: A broken heart *professor x starts laughing from the other room*"

"April Fool's Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared."

"Why did Hitler move from Germany to Westeros in full support of the Starks? Because he saw real hope for an Aryan nation."

"I hate computer speak My brain just cant PROCESS it."

"I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone."

"Boyfriend Joke To GF Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read ""Today, you are exactly where you should be."""

"What do you call a Nun that bites her nails? A bad Habit. I'll see myself out."

"An original as far as I know If a pepper could orgasm, where would it ejaculate? Jalapeno mouth."