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Joke of the Day

"Bratwurst, Sauerkraut, Cabbage, Potatoes, Cheese, Beetroot, Onions, Bread, Butter. Schindler's mom's list."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !"

"How do you pleasure a capitalist? An invisible handjob."

"Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry ma'am I'm just passing through."

"I just want to be rich enough to stop giving people toilet paper for Christmas"

"I don't have a swimmer's body. I have more of a drowning to death body. #Olympics"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Surely not sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about."

"Someone should tell Pam at work that no one wants to hear how cool her boyfriend is unless she's dating a helicopter."

"Why doesn't Donald trump travel in ships anymore..? Cause he doesn't like Cruz..."

"Human: your name is Flipper Dolphin: (angerly) uh ok, HAND"