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Joke of the Day
"By putting the punchline in the title How do you trick /r/jokes into thinking it's a repost?"
Next Joke
"Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights."
"For Sale : Crystal Ball Cant see any future in keeping it"
"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."
"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic... But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."
"Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resume? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar"
"""And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?""-- Teen Brian Williams' mother"
"How to keep a girl: buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt"
"What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room? You get a solid-state frizzicist."
"It's like Maury doesn't even care who the real father of my kitten is."