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Joke of the Day

"Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights."

"[at bar] Him: Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone? Me: I peed my pants."

"What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ? A sourpuss !"

"Why did the blind lady fall into a well? Because she couldn't see that well. *crickets, crickets*"

"If someone calls you fat... Just turn the other chin."

"I found Korn in my poop. I'm glad it was Falling Away from Me instead of Coming Undone."

"Want to hear a joke about Ebola? You probably won't get it"

"I just got a new watch for my ex-wife Seems like a fair trade."

"What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle? Attire."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 8 and 9 died a horrible and tragic death, and 7 is the prime suspect."