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Joke of the Day

"people who can fall asleep quickly freak me out don't they have thoughts"

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"Why did the calculus students get arrested? For drinking and deriving."
"Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning on and on !"
"Two mods walk into a bar... [deleted]"
"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."
"Me: Hi. Girl: No."
"There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas."
"Finished my first short film. It's a horror/drama that will scare and make you weep. It's basically just footage of me naked."
"""Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"" is actually a song about everything that will hurt when you hit about 30 years old."
"What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today? It's After Earth Day."