199931

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between hardware and software? Hardware breaks if you*don't* maintain it."

"I tried to cross a redneck with a golden retriever... All I got was a dirty look from the golden retriever."

"In most of the country, if you lose your khakis you have no pants... But in Boston, if you lose your khakis you can't start your car."

"Whenever I see a teenager, I can't help thinking"" holy shit"" was I really THAT fucking stupid once?"

"Mark Wahlberg's mom: Marky Mark! It's time for a snacky snacky before you take a nappy nap. Mark Wahlberg: Jesus, mom. I'm 44. What snack?"

"I invented a figure skating move. It's called 360 degree faceplant. It's like a normal faceplant, but with a twist."

"What has hands but can't clap? Stephen Hawking"

"Why does Ganondorf hate reddit Because it has too many links! (I'll show myself out :) )"

"Damn, girl are you a sketch on Saturday Night Live? Cause you're getting old, fast!"

"There should be a sequel song about needing a ride back from Funkytown."