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Joke of the Day

"Damn, girl are you a sketch on Saturday Night Live? Cause you're getting old, fast!"

"I drink black coffee Because I'm not racist."

"How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all you get a very large loaf..."

"what does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back **FOUR SECONDS**!"

"Coworker: Do you party? Me: Well I do schedule two nights a month that I stay up past 11pm. So yeah."

"An emo kid, a Jew, a Mexican, and a black guy jump off a building, who wins? Society"

"What do Hitler and Terry Fox have in common? Neither of them could completely finish a race."

"What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey"

"I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'"

"So a guy with a ""Baby on Board"" sticker on his back glass, backed out of a parking spot and directly into my car.. Apparently that dick had a problem with pulling out."