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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what to do when someone yells stop Is it hammer time? Is it in the name of love? Do I collaborate and listen?"

"The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week. And those were faked with 1960s technology."

"Dear GPS, Please add an, ""avoid ghetto"" option. Sincerely, Scared"

"My boss got hit by a car while I was on my way to the wishing well so yes, I do have some spare change."

"In a way people that work in coffee shops are also First Responders. #Heroes"

"[makes a voodoo doll of himself] [gives it a little back rub]"

"What's a plumber's least favorite type of shoe? Clogs."

"The woman next to me on this rollercoaster won't stop screaming. Its like she's never seen a penis before."

"Judge:""Since we can't prove who's baby it is we will ... cut the baby in half Worm Mom 1:""Sure Worm Mom 2 :""Ya do it."

"Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the Bat Room. [an old classic]"