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Joke of the Day

"The woman next to me on this rollercoaster won't stop screaming. Its like she's never seen a penis before."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks this morning."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat!"

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it Apparently, she left me a few days ago"

"What did Donald Trump say when he couldn't find his Viagra? The erection is rigged!"

"I can not fathom how some people are exactly 6 feet tall."

"Adobe released a new digital ruler today. It's a bit short though, so they codenamed it... Napoleon, because it's a short ruler. No, seriously: http://xdce.adobe.com/mighty/"

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time somebody goes in a bathroom and locks the door, you take four shots."

"If gyms paid pretty girls to just sit and clap in the weight section, I bet they could charge anything they want for a membership."

"Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News"