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Joke of the Day

"Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

"Who makes more money, a prostitute or a crack dealer? The prostitute, because they just wash their crack and sell it again."

"What did the Gorilla call his first wife? His prime-mate!"

"""Use the forceps, Luke!"" - Obi Gyn Kenobi"

"Those girls on the balance beam learn early on that 4 inches isn't much to work with."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"Gravity walks into a bar in space And shit goes **down**"

"Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce? She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra"

"How do you make a little girl cry even more? You wipe your bloody dick off on her teddy bear."