220534

Joke of the Day

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"*Bursts into bank* Robber: THIS IS A ROBBERY. HANDS UP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Bank clerk: No that's clearly a shotgun 2nd robber: OOOH SNAP!"

"I think someone just called me a ""beach""... But I can't be shore."

"I accidentally kicked my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now he's in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song."

"I'd get my mind out of the gutter, but I think it's wrong to remove an animal from its natural habitat."

"While doing their job, why do teachers lose self-respect for themselves? It's DeGrading"

"What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F."

"Being half German and half Jewish has its problems... Every time I walk by an oven I want to push myself in."

"Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house? He's snowed in."

"""Dad do you believe in Buddha?"" ""Why of course but I think margarine is just as good."""