199660

Joke of the Day

"I heard a noise downstairs, so naturally I came down to investigate in my towel, post-shower. Exactly. I'M the idiot in a slasher film."

"A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere"

"What do you call a well-behaved Indian takeaway? A proppadom"

"I never get invited to search parties."

"What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person? The Boy Scout comes home from camp. ^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry."

"Almost all of the guys I drafted for my fantasy football team are football players which I think was a smart move"

"Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from? The School of Hard Knocks."

"I put my phone on airplane mode. Now I can't find it."

"What did the pirate captain say to the sucker fish he hired to clean his ship? Suck my *DECK*!!!"

"LPT: If you're trying to get over a crush just imagine them taking the wettest dump ever. Unless, of course, you're into that kind of shit."