199626
Joke of the Day
"Sign: ""No alcohol past this point."" Translation: Bet you can't chug this entire beer, right now."
Next Joke
"Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'"
"Two blondes talking to each other... One asks the other, ""Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?"" The other blonde says, ""Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."""
"Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation? He needed some time to himself to decompose."
"I told him I like a big vocabulary and now he won't stop using 72pt font."
"The worst part of getting a chain wallet for your birthday is that now you have 3 days to send 10 chain wallets to your friends."
"The other day someone said my clothes looked gay... I told them they got out of the closet just this morning."
"What did the tampon say to the other? Nothing; they were both stuck up cunts!"
"Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!"
"We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year. We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land."