199613

Joke of the Day

"How did the Kentucky woman know her daughter was on her period? She tasted the blood on her son's penis."

"""Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom"" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth"

"95% of parenting is using your sock as a mop."

"Did you hear about the knife-wielding madman who attacked a circus camp the other day? He went straight for the juggler."

"Nice 35 yr. old unlit candle, every grandma in the world."

"If I had a crystal ball that could see five years into the future... I would have 2020 vision."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had long since succumbed to Stockholm syndrome and was actively engaging with their captors."

"A black man walked into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bar man asks, ""Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?"" The parrot says, ""Africa! There are loads of them running around!"""

"What sex position makes ugly babies? Ask your parents"

"What's the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment. I'll see myself out."