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Joke of the Day

"If I had a crystal ball that could see five years into the future... I would have 2020 vision."

"Genie: Sure about this? Me: C'mon do it Genie: It's your last wis- Me: I WANNA BE RICH Genie: Alakazam! Hi Rich, I'm Genie"

"Friday. My second favorite F word."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into her office wearing only cling wrap? I can clearly see you(')r(e) nuts."

"""Naps ain't shit!"" -Comas"

"Never own a pet store. Stores make bad pets."

"Apple announces iPhone bug that allows it to be hacked with a single click, in a 'more intuitive and natural way than an Android bug'."

"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"

"What do you call a hypocritical member of the church of Latter Day Saints? an oxy-mormon. or, all of them."

"What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse? Giddy up horsey !"