199599

Joke of the Day

"Fails drug test. Adds ""Positive"" Person to resume."

"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."

"How do you piss off horny redditors in nsfw? [deleted]"

"Why are Australians never late for work? Their snooze button only lasts 6 minutes."

"What do you call a forty something guy who masturbates all the time? Married"

"We've run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops."

"Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed."

"Have you heard about that new girl, Pandora? She's got one hell of a box."

"Stupid seal at the zoo would not sing ""kiss by a rose."" REFUND!"

"I took my Biology exam last Friday I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently ""Blacks"" and ""Mexicans"" were NOT the correct answers."