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Joke of the Day
"Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own? Because it's too tired."
Next Joke
"It'd be pretty messed up if the cure for cancer was in those end-slices of bread."
"Why did God create the orgasm? So women can moan even when they are happy."
"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down into a tire and call it a GoodYear."
"I've had an awful year. I lost my job, broke my leg and my wife's run off with my best friend... I do miss him."
"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"
"A psychic sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He says ""You're about to jump from Empire State Building tomorrow."""
"Things I Suck At: 1. straws, ha ha jk lol 2. Parallel parking, no seriously, I'm really terrible at this 3. straws, haha same joke as before"
"""What should we call the big finger?"" ""'Thumb' seems as good as any."" ""Impressive. What about this smallest one?"" ""PINKY!"" ""............."""
"Sweat pants & Uggs in public says ""and I didn't brush my teeth, either."""