199597

Joke of the Day

"I've completely cocooned myself in this blanket, and I'm not coming out until I'm a fully functional adult or a butterfly."

"BUT GHOSTBUSTERS NEVER GAVE US THEIR NUMBER."

"And the winner of the 2016 presidential election is Hillary! - Steve Harvey"

"Have you heard of the two Mexican firemen? Hose-A and Hose-B."

"BREAKING NEWS: Adrian Peterson has been traded to the Minnesota Twins They needed a switch hitter"

"Do scientists know how Ebola effects white people yet?"

"[on death row] ""what would you like for your last meal?"" ""A McRib"" ""McRib doesnt come back for 6 more mont...oooh well played!"""

"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite subject? Computin science"

"11: You know what would be really ironic? Me: No, what? 11: If someone died in their...living room. The Twitter is strong in this one."

"Proud father... I'm really proud of my daughter. She's taken her new vegetable diet very well. Just last night I found a cucumber in her room."