199517

Joke of the Day

"People usually stop coming over to your house when you greet them with ""Make yourself at home, BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T OPEN THE FREEZER."""

"You should really start thinking before you speak...and while you're at it, you should also think before you think."

"What's the new French flag look like? A white cross emblazoned on a white background!"

"Crazy sister put: ""I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly"" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too."

"We're sorry Micky Mouse, but your wife being crazy is not reasonable grounds for a divorce! I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

"WHAT DO YOU CALL...... Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SOMEONE FARTS IN A GAY BAR? A: A PICK UP LINE"

"Whats white and likes to shoot? Kevin Nash"

"My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!"

"What do you call a bee that comes from the United States? USB."

"Nerd crush in Star Wars originals was Carrie Fisher. Nerd crush in Star Wars Force Awakens... The stormtrooper who yells **""TRAITOR!**"