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Joke of the Day

"As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, Dogs sure are easily amused!... ...then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail."

"What do you call a thief that leaves a trail? A crummy thief!"

"First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework."

"Stereo types exist for a reason. Because not everyone wants a Sony."

"I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was."

"Ghost handwriting is so sloppy. What is this, blood? Lol. Get a pen."

"Why don't off duty police men fire grenades into children's cribs? If you're good at something never do it for free."

"Vibrato: Used by fretless players to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch."

"What type of underwear does a fetus wear? Fruit of the womb."

"Yes, I DO think ""did you bring my pizza?"" is an acceptable answer when you're in a public bathroom and someone knocks on the door."