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Joke of the Day

"As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, Dogs sure are easily amused!... ...then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail."

"What is the worst about a being black AND Jewish? Sitting in the back of the oven. Sorry if this is considered extremely racist mods, please remove if you consider it to be!"

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance."

"I have reliable inside information about Apple's next product. I will not be able to afford it."

"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."

"ELF: Santa one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: Use a pen."

"I got fired from my bingo calling job today. Apparently 'a meal for two with a terrible view' is not an appropriate way to call 69."

"A man with a gun enters a bar... ...""Who had sex with my wife?"" he snarled. A muffled voice heard in the background said, ""You don't have enough bullets for that mate."""

"Who is a Minion's favorite politician? First ever president of Zimbabwe, President Banana"