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Joke of the Day

"A cop pulls over a redneck The cop asks ""Got any ID?"" The redneck scratches his head, "" 'bout what?"""

"I'm trans-GPA I'm a 4.0 student living in the body of a 2.0 student"

"My voicemail greeting is just me strangling a cat while reading bible passages."

"Where was Jar Jar Binks in the new Star Wars movie? Answer: Who gives a fuck?"

"Girls: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Guys: I don't mind Girls: Like a huge mess Guys: ok Girls: Like dead bodies on fire Guys: ok"

"Girl, are you my brake pads and rotors? Because I'd like to grind on you until you groan loudly and I have to replace you."

"So, could you say ""Black Friday"" came early in Ferguson, Missouri?"

"How did a hipster burn his mouth? Drank his coffee before it was cool"

"I would watch NASCAR if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans."

"Why did the squirrel swim on it's back? To keep it's nuts dry."