199384

Joke of the Day

"An American soldier talks with a Russian soldier A-We get the equivalent of 3000 calories per day. R-Impossible! No man can eat 60 pounds of potatoes in one day!"

"How do deaf people tell each other secrets ? They wear mittens."

"Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining."

"What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient? I forgot."

"I feel like MacGyver- given a bottle opener and a bottle of beer, I was able to crudely fashion an open bottle of beer."

"The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number."

"TIFU I'm like a 4/10 and she was a total 9."

"Did you hear about the new toilet upstairs? That's some next level shit"

"Unable to stop their phones and washing machines from exploding, Samsung announced today they're changing their name to the ACME Corp."

"Playing as japan in a ww2 game You know I never really liked Japanese weaponry... there just not my type"