199317

Joke of the Day

"I'm going to make a porno parodying the movie ""Alien"" I think the tagline will be, ""*In space no one can hear you cream*""."

"Me (digging a hole): how's this? My clone: at least 6 feet deeper Me: you sure there's treasure? My Clone: toss me up your keys bud"

"Racial jokes: Put em here, let's see what ya got! How do you starve a black man? You put his food-stamps in his work boots!"

"Found a fly on his back by my keyboard. So dead. So sad. Put a cocktail umbrella by his head. Now he looks like he's suntanning."

"Push-up men's underwear. Taking complexes to a whole new level."

"The text says it all It all"

"The vegetable crisper or as I call it, the cold garbage can."

"""sir do u know why i pulled u over"" *shrugs* ""License- *hands cop box of crayons* ""sir plea- *hands cop coloring book* *cop starts coloring*"

"My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, ""What would the world be like without theater?"" One of her students replied, ""Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer."""

"I was having dinner with a snowman... The other day I was having dinner with a snowman, and he says ""Am I crazy, or does it smell like carrots in here?"""