199301

Joke of the Day

"You kick one baby and everyone's like ""That's not a football"" and ""He's not breathing, call 911."" Draaaaaama."

"When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work? Are there any side effects?' No, it's Can I drink with these?'"

"I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands. What's not to like?"

"Two fish are high on heroin playing basketball ""Oh man"", says one fish. The other fish replies, ""What, you hooked?"" He says ""All net."""

"What is a Detective's favourite pastry? The Tooth Hurts Donut!"

"Some girl just asked me if she was wearing too much makeup. I told her it depends on whether she's going to kill batman or not."

"Top Six Uses Of Strategic Planning: 6. Politics 5. Sports 4. Investing 3. Business 2. Military 1. Returning home from guys/girls night out"

"I was at the bank earlier and an elderly lady asked me to check her balance for her I still don't understand why she was mad when I pushed her over"

"What do Ginger Baker and strong coffee have in common? They are both terrible without Cream."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no ideer."