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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are high on heroin playing basketball ""Oh man"", says one fish. The other fish replies, ""What, you hooked?"" He says ""All net."""

"My sister asked me to take of her clothes too!! She's a quadriplegic, and is incapable of doing so by herself."

"Scrabble is adding 5,000 new words including ""chillax"" and ""selfie."" So kids, there's never been a better time to challenge your grandparents to a game of Scrabble."

"People that whip their seats back on airplanes are almost certainly terrible lovers."

"Pc gamer A pc gamer was about to get laid but he saw a mole on her body and said ""Damn bitch you have a dead pixel"""

"I got arrested for killing a black man They charged me with impersonating a police officer."

"Before you do that- think, Would an idiot do that? Then, don't do that."

"What's the best part about marrying a farmer? You get to grow old together."

"How do you improve public transportation in Ferguson, MI? Move the trees closer together."

"I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire but I've only come up with one: Lying."